Christmas Cabinet Reshuffle a gift to the Australian people

Despairing of the costs to the taxpayer of the disabled and unemployed members of Australian society, Abbott decided it was necessary to take action to ensure by Christmas 2015 the taxpayers would be able to spend more of their hard-earned money on their own families, rather than paying taxes to support the vulnerable in society.

This job clearly needed a firm, moral, Christian head. Looking over his team at who had the best record of taking care of vulnerable people, Morrison’s aura shone brightly. He had stopped the boats carrying so many desperate people and removed any that did arrive, protecting the jobs of Australians. While Morrison’s approach had cost the taxpayer billions in private contractor arrangements, the longer term benefits for the Australian people were obvious. #TeamAustralia would be protected.

Morrison was therefore the clear front-runner to protect hard working Australian families from the disabled and unemployed. He could apply the same Christian principles to the Social Services portfolio as he had to Immigration. While it might be difficult, legally, to ship Australian citizens off to Nauru or Manus, concentration camps could be established on Tasmania. This would have the added benefit of improving employment figures on that island.

By Christmas 2015 Medicare will be eradicated, saving the Australian taxpayer billions that can be better utilised by increasing tax rebates to mining and other industries.  The Medicare Levy will not be rescinded though, as this will simply be absorbed into general revenue to fund well deserved pay rises for parliamentarians. Naturally this will be a bi-partisan move.

The unemployed will all be gainfully employed in a Work for the Dole scheme so they can be productive members of society. Ironing is one job that could be done by the female unemployed, ensuring all working Australians have pressed shirts every day. Of course, women really should be considering the appropriateness of working at all as there is a lot to be said for the social norms of the 1950s.

Centrelink staff numbers will be halved, but those receiving the Disability Support Pension will need to confirm weekly, with a medical certificate from a government approved doctor, that they are still unable to join the Work for the Dole scheme. Those who are clearly permanently disabled and cared for in the Tasmanian camps will only be required to confirm their disability once a year.

It is expected by Christmas 2015 the terrible waste of taxpayers money currently being spent on Social Services will have been curtailed, just as the boats were stopped. It will be a wonderful gift to the Australian people.

Footnote: This article in The Sydney Morning Herald from April 2013 was drawn to my attention today Jan 1, 2015. If you think the above scary, try Kill poor to fix budget, writes lobbyist with Liberal links.

4 comments on “Christmas Cabinet Reshuffle a gift to the Australian people

  1. Excellent article and, yes, too close to the truth to be funny. Just one small correction – ironing is one job that could be done by the FEMALE unemployed …. Which, I’m sure Abbott and Morrison would agree, is a good thing of course, because there are so many other jobs that women are not able to do, due to their temperamental and physical limitations.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I keep attempting to laugh at this as it is obviously a parody. Except that it is not!

    Liked by 2 people

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