About
Just married - May 22, 2010
Edit: My husband and children came home to Australia on June 3, 2011. The below is about the period prior to their homecoming.
My husband and I.
As you can see, the heat got to me (and my makeup). Truth be told, my husband’s lips are more the reason for the missing lipstick!
I could have married an incarcerated serial killer, provided he was Australian, without hearing a whimper from anyone.
I did not.
What I did do is apparently worse – I fell in love with an asylum seeker and shock, horror, dismay: I actually married the man!
Despite what DIAC may choose to think, I am not an unintelligent woman. I have a degree conferred with distinction and two professional designations. It seems “they” know my private life better than I do. Perhaps I am too “silly” to know what I am doing with my life.
No matter how professional any of us may be, we all have a private life: we love, we live, we fight injustice where we see it if we are so inclined.
Here is an letter to the editor I wrote years before I met my husband, which I share to illustrate my concerns about civil and human rights do not stem solely from my relationship – rather had I not had those concerns I may not have met my husband at all.
Welcome to my little world of madness. This web site is a diary of my fight against the Goliath of bureaucracy to be reunited with my husband. It will also be a blog of great happiness and joy when, hopefully, he and our children step off the plane! Other topics may be raised from time to time.
As I point out in this post, I have no argument with the staff of the Department of Immigration and Citizenship. They are not the cause of the difficulties. As a nation, we need to change the way we do things.
I am also looking for a screenwriter to turn my husband’s life into something marketable – so if you are in that field and up for a challenge, feel free to ask for more details. Now, even this paragraph is suspect, I am warned, for it is possible I could be accused of marrying my husband for the possible proceeds of his life story. I have to say that never occured to me, as I think the chances are slim anyway: given the difficulty in getting any media coverage, I can’t see me being terribly successful selling movie rights! Having given the warning some consideration, I am not deleting this statement, just expanding it to explain. The fact a warning was thought necessary is encouraging though!
My reasons for wanting to see my husband’s full life documented are a) because I think he is an ordinary man who has led an extraordinary life and I believe in him and b) we have four children who want to be, respectively, a banker, a doctor, an engineer and the youngest is still undecided. Good education costs money. If it would show what happens AND secure our children’s future, then it is worth it. So no, damn it, warning noted, but paragraph stays. Otherwise I am being driven to silence and that is not what this country is about, surely? Or is it?
While I’m wishing for things, I could also do with a people-mover, compassionate airfares and a pro-bono civil rights lawyer but I doubt they are going to fall into my lap any time soon either. 
That was an “ambit claim”, folks – I’m just illustrating it isn’t just the legal battle that is costly!
Robyn Oyeniyi BBus CPA MNZCS
Interesting blog about a painful issue. Glad it worked out!
Thank you very much! Book is finished, looking for a publishing home!
Nice blog, Robin. I know your plight because I’ve been through the same fighting bureaucracy when I have to obtain a fiancee visum to come here. My husband out of despair even wrote the queen. Yes, you are not alone but I know that love will triumph in the end. Do not lose hope and keep the faith.
Good luck with your fight to get reunited with your husband and children!
Thank you Malou. Your comment makes me think perhaps I’d better update this “About” page – my family came home June 3, 2011 but we are stilll to go through the final step to get the sub-class 100.
Tell your husband from me I know how he felt! I drafted a letter to Prince William, but never posted it. I did write to just about everyone else one could possibly communicate with though. The feeling of desperation is overwhelming at times.
Nice blog Robyn
Thank you very much!
Hi Robin,
Wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas
Thank you very much! Best wishes to you and yours too!
I’ve awarded you with The Reader Appreciation Award.
http://laavventura.wordpress.com/2011/11/26/the-reader-appreciation-award/
Thank you!
Thank you Jenn. I like the idea of a Reader Appreciation Award – I’ll pass that on to ALL our readers, you included!
Hi Robin, I have nominated you for The Liebster Blog award. Please check the link http://theway2fullconsciousness.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/the-liebster-blog-award/
Veeh.
Thank you Veeh! I’ve popped past your page and left a thank you note!
Just stopping by after ages in Internet hell to say … well … hello!
Hello! I was thinking of you the other day, that I hadn’t visited you for ages – and there you go and pop up! I’ll stop by, hopefully later today!
I’ve got something for you here : http://jobryantnz.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/and-the-award-goes-to/
Thank you Jo! I’ve popped over!
I don’t know why I’ve taken this long to subscribe to your blog. I’m always a lurker these days. But today I’ve actually taken the time to read your posts. You have a beautiful family! I’m glad everything worked out in the end!
Welcome to our little world, Noirciplume. I don’t get to read as much as I used to these days, but I’m sure you can see why!
Thank you for the lovely compliment.
Hey you, I feel poorly that it has taken me this long to view your work. I am a screenwriter, but I have no experience, my work hasn’t been published as yet. Out of curiosity, whereabouts do you live? Continent-wise?
No need to feel poorly! We are in Australia.
Can I just say what a relief to come across a person who actually knows what theyre talking about online. You definitely know how you can bring an problem to light and make it significant. Alot more people today should read this and realize this side of the story. I cant believe youre not additional well-known because you absolutely have the gift.
Thank you. We hope to raise awareness, definitely.
Stopped by here from the WordPress forum, and I am in awe of what a strong woman you are!
You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers through your journey and fight to be together.
I can’t imagine what it would be like if my husband were in this situation!
Thank you for stopping by! I hope you continue to follow our journey now you have found us – there shoud be much excitement soon, if everything goes according to the lastest timeframe provided!
The world may be getting smaller but the barriers are bigger.
Good luck.
Thank you Tilly. Finally we are close to being reunited. The last bit of waiting is a very anxious time.
Hi teamoyeniyi! Just stopping by to visit you on your blog. You had visited me on mine after reading my interview with Elizabeth.
I hope everything begins getting better for you, I’ll say an extra prayer!
Thank you for stoppping by. I’m not doing too much other reading right at the moment – critical stage. But I will get to read more.
“birds, rivers, wind;
no border ever seems to holds them.”
“borders are for humans, love.
If i think about it now
being human has not done much for us, has it?”
don’t think I’m doing justice to the translation, but these are the words of my favorite poem, written by someone who was caught in the same situation.
from now on, u have one more person praying for you. hope everything works out
I believe we are nearly there, so stick around for the excitment!
Thank you for your encouraging words and please pass on my best wishes to the author of the poem, if you know them personally. Very true words.
I have everything crossed for you, I hope everything works out for the best.
Thank you Jason. We have to be getting close. We have heard some information overnight, not official though, that finally things may be happening. All we can do is keep hoping.
I am fascinated…Must.read.more.
(I’m the cheap-ass tooth-fairy kiwi chick from accidentalstepmom’s blog.)
Welcome! Glad to have you
How are you doing now – any further forward?
My friend is in a similar situation – she lives in Australia, he lives in USA; he has a fiancee visa and is coming to Oz to marry my friend in July, when he will apply for a Spouse Visa. All they want is to be together.
I have sent her the link to your blog so she can read through it and hopefully gain some knowledge from it for her own situation.
You have my utmost admiration for what you are doing, and I pray for a good outcome for you both.
Thanks Barb. We are still waiting. Today is a tough day. Certainly get your friend to contact me: just the moral support of someone going through the same thing can be good. If he already has the fiance visa, I believe he is fine. Any problems woud have surfaced by now – I think!
Just wanted to give you an update on my friend’s situation.
He got in to Australia on the Fiancee Visa, and they got married in June this year! He has been granted a Work Visa and has got a job although it’s not what he wanted, but beggars can’t be choosers – it’s a job. They have now applied for a Spouse Visa (more money) and are waiting. Things seem to be going smoothly for them as far as bureaucracy is concerned. At least he is in this country and they are together.
I must bring myself up to date with your blog and see what’s been happening for you guys. I just subscribed.
Thanks for letting us know Barb! It is great to hear good news when couples don’t have to battle. Yes, it is more money and now quite expensive – I think the on-shore application fee is just under A$3,000 now.
At least he has a job – it can be hard to get that first job in Australia. I am sure with time he will get a role more to his liking. John is about to start job hunting madly – he has his last exam today but we are not sure exactly when the certificates are issued to the students. Hopefully not to long.
Wow! I am so proud of you for what you’re doing and what you stand for!!! Keep up the awesome work.
Thank you so much Brandon. Always lovely to welcome a new reader/supporter!
I’m sending loads of good thoughts and energy your way.
Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to swapping our experiences! Should be interesting.
It seems to me that with all the chaos and anger in the world today, somebody should be saying Hallelujah for a loving family. Let’s get them reunited.
I can only offer support to you. I have heard of similar cases here in New Zealand and in America my niece and her fiance had to prove beyond doubt that he wanted to live in the country solely to be with her. After some battles they conquered bureaucracy so hopefully you will too.
We stuck to the facts the whole way through. All we could do was believe that ultimately, truth would win. Congratulations to your niece and her fiance!
Aside from the suffering of your family, think of the time and money being spent on this ridiculous farce of keeping you apart. What a waste! What are they afraid of?
I can only referr you to https://teamoyeniyi.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/emotive-reporting-perhaps/ but I really do not know. Yes, I have also raised the issue of the hidden costs to the economy before, let alone the taxpayers direct dollars. It is quite curious.
(IDK where to post this but…) I’ve given you a versatile Blogger Award… Thanks for the one you gave me! Go to http://josiahblacksblog.wordpress.com/ to claim your award.
Thank you Josiah. I certainly didn’t expect to be awarded in return – or is this my punishment for making you do extra work?
Thank you for your kind words in the award.
Unfortunately, this story is true. I hope you will find everybody you are looking for and will get all the proceeds you deserve!
I will keep my fingers crossed for you, guys!
Yes, the story is true. Thank you for stopping by and for your support.
Is it ok to give you an award? You certanly deserve one. Well Their is an award with your name on it at my blog. (link added for convenience, but you can edit it out if you wish)
http://lifewith4cats.com/awards/
Wow – thank you! Popping right over and no, of course I am not deleting the link!
I love that scrolling feature you have at the top of your blog. I had not seen it before. What is it called?
oh and I know you worried about making too many comments on blogs, but your most recent comment on mine inspired an answer. I couldnt help it.
But you only have to answer if you feel like it.
I’m just a worrier, Sara!
The scrolling feature is part of the Theme – Traction. It is a Premium Theme, so you have to pay for it! Hope that helps!
Hi Robyn! I am wishing you and your family a long and happy life together, hopefully with fully un-pixelated photos in the near future! Sometimes the red tape of the Government….any Government…is just maddening. My best to all of you! I am adding you to my blogroll, thank you so much for including me on yours! Have a great day….night…morning….whatever the heck it is down there….
Thank you and welcome. It was morning when you wrote – I was at work by then. Thank you for the blogroll add and the good wishes. We are getting closer every day, but it has certainly been a long haul.
I hope that through “putting myself out there” I can encourage change. I may never be successful, but the least I can do is try!
I hope the back aches have gone and you’ve finally gotten some rest. Life is a struggle, seriously, did anyone say it would be easy? For me no. Postivie vibes being sent your way from Sardegna.
Yes and yes, thanks Jennifer! Osteopath did a great job, even if I thought the cure was worse than the condition the following day! Had a very encouraging conversation with our lawyer today too and that always helps! Hopefully we are in the last few weeks – but then I remind myself I’ve thought that before, so I’m careful not to get TOO positive just yet!
Hi Robyn
Love, support and prayers to you from South Africa. Keep strong!
Thank you, Elinor. We are staying strong – most of the time! Some days are just harder than others!
I just want to express my support for you and your husband and your family as a whole. Enduring this bureacratic nightmare is extremely stressful. I hope that what’s just and fair is how your story ends and that it ends very soon. That’s what I’m praying for.
Bless you all,
TiTi
Thank you very much TiTi. We do hope it will not be much longer now. The health impacts are difficult, I find.
So, the government thinks that he’s with you just to get into Australia and that it couldn’t possibly be because he wants to, as the damned young people say, “hit that”?
Ageist bastards. If you were in your 20′s, maybe they’d buy it.
Love your email address. You’ve said just enough to let me know who you are.
Thank you for the support! I think there is a certain amount of accuracy in your comment!
Actually, I realised you are not who I thought you were, as you commented there too. Hummmmmmm – a mystery. Gotta love a mystery!
Hey again. Thanks for reading The Traveling Waitress*. I am not currently in OZ, I lived there in 1997 for a year of life changing moments. I now call Italy home. Be sure to check out my posts on La Mia Vita Sarda.
http://laavventura.wordpress.com/category/la-mia-vita-sarda/
Will do. Yes, my country can provide “life changing moments”. It is here I met my husband!
I found your story through the forums today. Great blog. Sending you encouraging vibes from Sardegna.
All encouraging vibes gratefully received!!!
All the best girl! I am sure you will see the bad times through!
p.s. u make a beautiful couple
Thank you! Our children are more beautiful than we are, but we appreciate the compliment!
Haven’t read all of your posts yet but think I got the gyst. Tough situation! I tend to respect naturalization and imigration laws in my country. I see the purpose and as anyone who has ever gotten a divorce can tell you, love and law are two different things. Best of luck to you!
Thank you very much. It has been a long slow battle, but we are winning. I respect our laws too, in principle. However, we also need to protect the civil rights of our citizens and that is where we are going wrong as a country at the moment.
I don’t know all the details of your situation, but I still want to offer encouragement (since I’m not rich enough to offer more material support). I do not know how much racism is an influence in your country. It does influence many legal and individual actions here in the USA. I don’t see why any government ought to be able to split up families who break no other law besides disagreements over residency status. But of course it happens here every day, usually to people who’ve risked their lives to cross the border from Mexico. I will pray that you maintain your energy and health so you can keep fighting to be reunited.
Thanks Mikey. To be honest, I don’t know how much racism is an influence either. Had you asked me 10 years ago I would have defended my country to the hilt. Now I am not quite so sure, not only because of my own situation, but other people I know who battle. I have a friend with a Master’s Degree who can’t get a decent job commensurate with his skills. A very close friend of mine is American and she made a similar comment.
I guess I don’t want to believe that has anything to do with it, because it is not a pleasant thought for me.
You are not alone in thinking governments shouldn’t be able to keep families apart. I know of a few people who think the ability to make the subjective assessment governments seem to be able to make in the case of spouse visas is wrong. Certainly in contravention of the ICCPR.
We fight on!
I received the sweetest email tonight supporting our cause. I was so very touched by the writer’s words. To him – thank you!
You are a very nice looking couple. I am praying for you both daily.
Thank you very much Susan. We miss each other desperately and have no idea how long the appeal process will take. Kind words always help.
I’m glad you like my blog let me know if I can be of any help for you. Good Luck with your husband
Clarence
I wish you all the best in your plight. Stay strong
Thank you very much! Monday 2pm is decision time, so 19 hours to go.