Parenting 101 or This is the Boringest day of my life!
Four Weetbix in a bowl. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
So you have a cute little baby. So sweet!!! Despite what you may think at 2 am when you are awoken from your delicious, longed-for slumber by the dulcet tones of a scream to be fed, this baby is quiet in a way you will appreciate by the time that little bundle of joy turns into a 10 year-old with verbal dysentery.
Tuesday morning involved a trip to the dentist for Miss O 2, a young lady who recently achieved the status of a double-digit age.
The plan was come to work with me, we’d park the car, jump the tram to the dentist, come back, get the car and I’d drop her off at school, then back to work.
Now, she was quiet in the car on the inbound journey, but after that?
“Mum, your office is very rough!” rough = messy
“Thanks, dear, nice of you to tell me.” Like I don’t already know.
“Mum, can’t we go now? I thought we were going straight!”
“In a minute.” We’d been in my office a whole 5 minutes.
“I’m bored.”
The tram trip, travelling in a sardine can, relieved the boredom, but once in the dentist’s surgery waiting our turn it was a different matter.
“Can I play a game on your phone? I’m bored.”
“No, you can’t. Read a magazine. I’m not bored.“
“You aren’t bored because you have your phone to play with. When is Daddy giving me his phone? This is boring.”
“You need to learn patience.”
“I am only patient in class when I have to wait for the teacher.”
“I wish I had a phone to play with.”
She digs in my handbag, lawd knows what for. “No offence, Mummy, but your bag is very rough.” Try looking in her cupboards!!!
“Messy, dear, not rough; messy.”
“OK, whatever.”
Etc etc etc
When we were leaving we had to wait for our tram number to come along.
“This tram is going to take 80 years to come.”
“I feel as if that building is going to fall on top of me.”
“When is the tram coming? This is the boringest day of my life.”
“This is the boringest day of my LIFE!”
“Can you lend me $2? I’m hungry.”
“Didn’t you have breakfast?”
“No, I was too busy making my lunch. You told me to make my lunch.”
“Yes, but you know you also have to have breakfast.”
“I didn’t have time. I’m hungry. Can you lend me $2 and I will buy something at the milkbar.”
“I’ll buy you Weetbix in a drink when we get to the milkbar.”
“No, that will be disgusting.”
“You need to be a politician.“
“Why?”
“They talk a lot without saying anything.“
“Very funny, Mummy.”
Finally we get the car and head to school.
“I’m hungry, can I eat my lunch now?”
“No, you may not eat your lunch now.”
Etc etc etc until we get to the milkbar.
I buy her Breakfast on the Go, i.e. Weetbix in a drink.
She’s not sure it is OK, but drinks most of it, leaving me a bit. That night, when I get home, she asks, “Where is the rest of my drink? That was delicious, I’m going to buy one every day!”
“No, you are not going to buy one every day.”
“OK, can I buy one once a week?”
Etc etc etc until bedtime. No, I tell a lie. She was reasonably quiet during X-Factor, but she cried when Angel was the one to go home.
Parenting 101 – How to survive ceaseless chatter. Industrial earplugs! 
Funny exchange… Now I realize I haven’t had Weetabix in years! might go look for some though I doubt it’s sold in the US.
I am not sure if our Weetbix are the same as your Weetabix, but I think they are similar! Kids would not eat them when they first arrived, now they love them!
I love this post, and beautiful conversations were went between you people. I enjoyed it by playing it as a play with my friend. Thank you, it is a great fun.
Thank you! I love your idea of playing it as a play!
My son was a chatter box until he was about 16 or so, then he went quiet and now, just turned 26, I have to pry things out of him word by word almost! I used to ask him to keep quiet for 5 minutes, now I wish I hadn´t, lol!
I think that is pretty normal for teenager boys from what I hear although they are supposed to grow out of it by 26!
My daughter is still at the cute, funny, creative young comedienne stage and my son is 13, so we have a real difference. I’ve taught my daughter self defence and acidic wit so I’ve kind of set myself up to be mocked viciously and for some guy to get badly hurt when she gets to be a teenager. My hilariously funny, great at drama guitar hero son is quite easy going so I’m expecting that my confident, pretty, talented and witty daughter will run the house a month after she’s 13.
We have a recording somewhere of Miss 10, when she was Miss 8, claiming to be The President when I asked, “who do you think you are?”
She is, like yours, pretty, talented, can be very quick with the comebacks and has a focus and determination to WIN – when it comes to sporting activity! If she could apply that same focus to her maths and English, she’d get a BA at 15 I think!
Mind you, she went from getting 50% of her spelling test words right to 100% just by using some of that focus and practising the words every school night for 10 minutes. Developing the consistency of application is the problem!
Ouch. I couldn’t stand it when I came to visit my family to Croatia while my brother was younger (he’s 16 now). He was one of those kids who wouldn’t stop talking. Ever. For a minute. And I talk about once in a week, or something.
Then again, they grow up, move out… I suppose you’ll miss her chatter then.
Oh definitely, we will miss her – but we have about 10 years to go before that happens!
She really is an amazing young lady, just stunned me that the batteries NEVER went flat – not for a second!
My brother was like that, too, when he was his age. Now he mostly plays computer games in his room.
We do not allow computers or TVs in the bedrooms. Funnily enough, at Parent Teacher night last night, the business studies teacher said that is exactly how it should be!
Good idea, but his room is not just his bedroom, he studies there too, so removing the computer (which his parents don’t use anyway) could use some problems.
That is an issue which we battle with Mr 14. It is a problem, monitoring what they are doing.