Brown Cupcakes are OK, but not Brown People?
I initially drafted this article as “A little bit of Bigotry, just disconcerting”. Then I noticed these cupcakes in a shop window and wondered why are brown cupcakes OK, but not brown people – to some people?
Last night I rushed to the hairdresser with our youngest for a trim. Let me say straight up our hairdresser and her staff are LOVELY! I also want to stress these situations are VERY rare. But it happens. This incident involved a client.
I got this “look” from a woman, sitting in foils, of utter disgust. It was quite disconcerting. I hope Miss O 2 didn’t notice: I think she was too into staring at her reflection in the mirror to notice.
Usually, I don’t notice this stuff. After all, I’m white, I just have no bigotry radar unless it is fairly blatant. So for me to notice, you can rest assured it was obvious on her part.
Why? Who knows. Granted, here was a person (my daughter) of a complexion not often seen in this hairdresser, but she is a beautiful 10 year-old child. I can only assume the disgust was directed at me.
The look seemed to say, “How dare you bring a non-white into MY salon?” Unbeknownst to that person, I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for nearly 20 years, so I can lay equal claim!
Maybe it was more “OMG, you had sex with one of THEM!” I don’t know exactly what she was thinking, but it wasn’t a good thought, whatever it was! Perhaps it was more along the lines of designating me “white trash”! Private boarding school, degree, two professional designations – if only she knew. Then again, there is the small matter of my father’s illegitimacy (a terrible social stigma in the 1920s)……….
A couple of acquaintances had some advice. One, whose children are also “permanently tanned” (I quote), asks such people if they have something on their teeth. She says those so concerned about appearance hate to think they may not be perfect.
Another sent me a picture of the saying below.
Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.
The mother of the permanently tanned children has also been asked if she was her children’s nanny! I did laugh at that as it was such a flip of the typical stereotyping. Reminded me of when I corrected the kids at the pool and then walked back to the gym and people asked their Dad if everything was OK. Clearly I was assumed to be a nasty interfering white woman, not the mother, on that occasion. So the flip side happens as well!
All we can do is roll with the punches. The situations are rare for me personally, although Mr O finds it horrible when shop assistants make him put money on the counter rather than risk touching his skin by letting him hand them the money. I don’t blame him, I’d feel pretty horrible too if it happened to me. They never do that if I am with him, so I don’t have to witness such things.
We expect and have no issue with genuine curiosity. After all, we aren’t typical of the local demographic!
So the cupcakes are OK? So are the people!
Racial vilification? What do you think? (teamoyeniyi.com)