Today I got yet another shock. I have written recently about attacks on women from men who live in a delusional fantasy world about the roles of the sexes in life. Dear Max Tomlinson was written in response to a particularly strange Australian and before that I wrote about the repeal of some legislation in Equal Pay for women at risk?
The shock I received today was the result of clicking on a link to an “article” by Stephan Labossiere, titled Independent Woman Syndrome.
Seriously, once you have a man then it is time to allow him to step up and do his job of properly taking care of you. Unfortunately it does not happen like that for many women. Why? Because they suffer from what I call Independent Woman Syndrome.
That’s right ladies; some of you have a disease and don’t even know it. It is hindering you in relationships and in even trying to find a relationship. So how could something I first praised turn out to be so bad? Well let me give you a couple of symptoms so you can better understand the issue.
That’s just the start!
Let’s just look at the phrase in bold above. So I stop being independent, do I Stephen, and let you go to work and bring home the bacon, while I stay home? Let me tell you exactly who is taking care of whom in that situation! I cook your meals, wash your laundry, iron your shirts, raise your kids (who will carry YOUR name into the next generation), provide you with sexual release (on your terms, no doubt), pick up your dirty socks and wet towels, clean the toilet after you fail the hit the floating ball test, dust the furniture you sit on, vacuum the floors you walk on. Carry your children in my body for nine months because you can’t and possibly have surgery to deliver them.
Meanwhile you are taking care of me? WTF? Am I the only one who sees something wrong with the logic here?
Not to mention you are probably working SO hard to bring home said bacon you have late nights at the office and weekend conferences. ‘Nough said. Extra curricula activity with a co-worker or two perhaps?
Let’s look back at ancient societies. Yes, the genders performed different parts of the load of survival, but the men weren’t trying to convince anyone they were “taking care of” the women. I was SO shocked at the article and the blatant absolving himself of relationship responsibility by the author, I Tweeted the link to my followers! Below is one response.
Wendy told me she had written a response to an article she had read recently claiming “female entitlement mentality” is keeping women single. Wendy’s article can be found here at “The Perch” – damn good reading it is too! Go Wendy.
In reading Wendy’s article and the article quoted above I formed the opinion there is a common theme between the article Wendy is responding to and the one I am responding to: men too afraid to step up to the plate and be adult males! The presentation style is different: the Australian one lacks the biblical “sent by God” aspects (see the comments) of the article I look at.
…you decrease your ability to do something that most men need from their woman, stroke his ego. You have to let a man feel like a man, or you can do some serious damage to him and the relationship. Not to mention, many women who suffer from IWS also can become very aggressive in how they speak to their man.
What? Men are such fragile little petals we have to stroke their egos to have a good relationship? How on earth do they ever go into battle in a war then? Who is stroking our egos, just out of curiosity? No mention of THAT, I see! Clearly stroking his middle leg isn’t enough these days.
Trust me, Stephen, BEHAVE like a man and most women I know will applaud you! Behave like a spoilt brat and that is precisely how you will be treated.
In all fairness, Stephen does talk about the man helping: my difficulty is, he doesn’t actually give examples. Will he change the nappies, wash the dishes, cook the dinner? I don’t know, because he doesn’t say. Unfortunately the tone of the rest of the article outweighs this section, plus I get the feeling I would have heap praise on him if he did help – even if my brand new $200 blouse is now a blue faded denim colour because he didn’t ASK HOW before he “helped” with the washing!
I have three daughters: I do not want them being brainwashed by the media that Stephen’s selfish idea is the way the world should be. Nor do I want my three sons thinking this is any sort of acceptable expectation. If they ever behave like Stephen, I will consider I have failed sadly as a mother.
A relationship is a partnership. Each partnership is free to allocate responsibilities as that partnership sees fit. A relationship is about caring and loving and sharing. It is not a one-sided situation of “the woman cares for and strokes the ego of the man to make him feel good”.
And I thought this was 2012. Thankfully, I married a real man with the balls to be equal and not be intimidated by his woman. We manage to stroke each other’s egos equally! OK, we are normal, we don’t always manage – but we try! :D