When is Yes actually No?
Milo Wrapper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Strange question, you think? Let me explain. I have written before about my family learning the Australian use of English (see related links below). Certain words and sounds are challenging.
One of the differences is the use of Yes and No when answering questions asked in the negative.
Here is a typical scenario. Costco quite often does not have Milo in stock. Don’t ask me why they don’t, they just don’t! Mr O went to Costco after work tonight to do the bulk item shopping. Milo was on the list, but I didn’t expect it to be available.
I was doing a local shopping trip for soccer shorts, shin guards and noodles. I figured I might need to add Milo to the list. As I was leaving, the conversation went like this.
“Love, Costco didn’t have Milo again, did they?”
“Yes.”
So what exactly did Mr O mean by his “Yes”? He meant, “Yes, you are right, they did not have Milo.”
Yet in Australia, in that situation, we would answer “No”, as in “No, Costco did not have Milo”.
This different use of Yes and No became obvious to me when my family first came home. I would ask one of the kids, “You aren’t on dishes tonight, are you?” and they would say “Yes” when they are NOT doing the dishes. Actually, they still do. I have to be careful not to ask questions in the negative. I have to make sure I ask “Are you on dishes duty tonight?” then I know I will understand the Yes or No response! “You didn’t change your linen today, did you?” elicits a response of “Yes” when the linen was not changed. It can be confusing! Some situations lend themselves to this style of question: chasing kids to do things is one of those situations, as any parent knows!
I started thinking how this use of English could have caused all sorts of issues when Mr O was going through his asylum seeker days. Officials interviewing him could have ended up getting the completely incorrect response, depending how they asked the question. I do think in most situations, officials ask direct positive questions, but even so, clearly there is room for confusion there! I think back to the Living in an Abbott and Costello sketch article I wrote and now wonder how much of THAT particular confusion was potentially a result of exactly this different use of English!
I plead with anyone working with those from a different cultural background to make sure the person you are questioning is actually answering in the style you think they are, because they could be using Yes when they really mean No – or vice versa!
I haven’t even addressed the flip side of the coin! What if the person from another land asks us a question and we answer our way and that is misinterpreted? All over a simple “Yes” or “No”.
Related:
Okay! I resign… this is hysterical.
But TRUE! I thought of you when I wrote it, but I als checked with someone from Benin and they said the same thing! It is very confusing!
Which is funny MOST of the time, but I’ll bet NOT funny when appearing before a review tribunal.
Right!
Have they tried the greeting on you? My family laughs whenever I use it… You know, X walks in the door and you say, “Ah, you’ve arrived; you’re here, welcome! My kids always say, “No, I’m not here, it’s my double.
Arrrr – Just occurred to me maybe my family’s “Welcome” is a cut down version of your greeting, in English?
I love the “double” quip, that’s great!
Trust me… All Naijas use that greeting… They might have cut it half until they meet others from home… It’s a standard greeting back home not unique to any ethnic group.
Welcome features heavily in it too. 
We have moved to “Good morning” for when we get up!
By the way, Gilly couldn’t see Timomatic’s video in the UK – can you see it in the USA?
I would understand the example the Australian way!!
I don’t think that’s a Nigeria/Australia language divide. I have the same issue here whenever negative questions are rolling around.
When we get an “ambiguous answer” . . . we should rephrase the question.
Oh, I didn’t mean Nigerian/Australian specifically – I just meant languages other than English, versus English. Some Languages have an entirely different structure – look at Latin, for example – I am sure you learnt Latin somewhere along the line!
I’m getting very good at NOT asking questions in the negative!
A good point and one I’ve never considered. It can’t be easy for Mr O
(Sorry I’m just catching up. Still in France and fulltime baby sitter for a very mobile and active toddler – I’m knackered!) Be back in Portugal and catch up on everyones news next weekend
You little jet setter you! Enjoy your grandmother time – we will still be here when you get back!
Hmmm, with thought and careful wording of your questions, you could really use this to your benefit
You know what: that is a DAMN good thought! “You don’t feel like “cuddles” tonight, do you dear?” He he he “You don’t feel like cooking tonight, do you Miss O 1?” Oh, yes, this is shaping up nicely!
The one that used to throw me was when someone answered “yes” because it was culturally taboo to say “no” for fear of offense. I had to learn to rephrase questions less directly and to “talk/listen” in a circular way for meaning to meet meaning. Exhausting work for all parties (but eventually mutually rewarding)!
Being culturally taboo to say “no” is an interesting addition to the discussion. Perhaps there is some of that, I will have to ask. I’m used to it, but every now and then I am not sure exactly what is meant.
I can imagine how it might have complicated things for Mr O, not to mention many other people going through “the system”.
I have came across this type of thing, but can´t remember with whom, but as you say it can be tricky both ways.
I constantly have to double check!
I have worked with survivors of stroke and for some reason the yes/no thing is often reversed with them too.. and as they sometimes don’t have much other speech it can be tricky indeed..
My lot have PLENTY of other speech. I think it is more a function of them translating literally in their head. Yoruba has, like many other languages, a different order. They will say “next week, Wednesday” rather than “Wednesday next week”, for example.
It’s a learning curve for you all Robyn..
Definitely!
English is horrendously complicated but also very beautiful. I get confused with the ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ responses to negative questions as I tend to take things quite literally. It’s always best to go with the colloquial methods of understanding… although this tends to make it even more complicated! Perhaps the best idea is just to eat cake and never say anything ever again. Cake is pretty awesome
You are right – English is beautiful – but complicated and tricky. Mr O is constantly checking with me to make sure he gets things right, especially tenses.
Anna, it doesn’t matter WHAT I do – my reply will NOT appear under your comment!