Tonight is not a good night. It marks several things, not the least of which is a friend’s birthday party that I am not well enough to attend, due primarily to the other things tonight marks.
Twelve months ago day I was sitting here crying. I didn’t know where to turn. How could I stop them taking the man who is now my husband away? It was the weekend: who can you find? I didn’t know or understand the system, I had no idea what I was fighting. My husband was drugged to the eyeballs by the medical staff at the detention centre (presumably for “his own protection”) and I do not believe he really knew what was happening at that point. He knew he was being removed, he just wasn’t in a state to be able to function properly. He was very, very distraught as was I. This has been my annus horribilis. It has been not a good year for my family either, but in reality I know my husband had been through worse before he met me.
As my family are still not home, of course today the memories come flooding back to me. It is dark, raining and silent. I have just watched an interview with Angelina Jolie and Clint Eastwood about the making of Changeling. Some of the things Angelina said touched me. I watched her eyes truly glow when spoke of her children. What would she make of our drama, I wondered? Doesn’t matter, she is never likely to hear about it. She spoke of one thing she learnt from her mother that she still says to her children, to teach them that if you see something that needs doing, just do it – don’t leave it for someone else to do. As I have stated on Fair Warning, that is what I am trying to do. I saw something that needed doing. I could have been quiet, not said anything, hid our drama and hoped to just get through it. I can’t do that. I can’t leave things undone. If I can raise awareness so no-one else has to suffer as we have done, then I will have achieved something.
The other thing that is making me miserable today I can’t write about for security reasons and that makes me even more upset. Being able to write and express my fears and concerns helps me cope. Faithful followers may recall enough of past publishing, now hidden from view, to be able to put two and two together and realise the possible danger to our children today. DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs & Trade) have issued travel warnings. Of course, this means nothing: my family are not Australian citizens or residents. It seems if anything happens to them, that is just our tough luck. I know this because I have specifically asked that direct question and been ignored. I don’t mean there was no response, I mean the response I received not only ignored my question, but did not even acknowledge I had asked a question.
I have spoken to my husband and he has spoken to the carers of our children to ensure they do not venture out during this time, for how ever long it lasts. How do you keep a teenage boy on a leash without his father around?
I had pretty much a sleepless night last night and I will have another tonight. I am also worried about my Australian daughter who was subjected to a very bad experience herself yesterday. She has a loving and caring husband to take care of her, so my worry for her is lessened by the knowledge she is safe in her own home with the man she loves.
Although we are close, so close, it is not over yet. As they say (whoever “they” are) it is not over until it is over.