Avoiding your spouse?
Perhaps he forgot your birthday, perhaps she complained about your snoring. He dropped the wet towels on the floor again. Damn it, she shaved her legs with your razor AGAIN! Whatever. I’ve been there in the past and I know as I write this, there are many of you feeling less that amorous towards your spouse right now. Is that perhaps why you are on the computer? These days that seems to be a great avoidance mechanism!
Stop. Close your eyes (after you read this – if you close them now you won’t be able to read). Imagine if your spouse were not there. Not just tonight. Last night, tomorrow night, the next night and the next. For a period as yet unknown. How does that thought sit with you? Do you feel relieved? Some of you might, I know: not every relationship will last forever. Or do you feel a sudden sense of loss? Think about the things you like about your spouse. The twinkle in their eyes, the sound of their voice when they whisper “good morning”. The laughter between you when you watch a comedy you both enjoy. What if all those things were taken away? Would you be missing those special things?
Think of the never-ending silence. You’d come home to an empty house. Every day. That might be a lovely holiday for the first few days: what about in eight months time?
I’ve spoken before about enforced celibacy. Trust me, it is not such a pleasant experience. If you are a guy, I suppose you may be of the belief you can “pick up” any time. You still look 18, right? Hmmmmmm – maybe not! I’m not sure what other women think: I know a co-worker once stated she’d be happy if you never had to have sex again. I can’t get into that mindset at all. So I’m not even going to hazard a guess. But you know how you feel and that is what counts.
Life throws us curve balls, shifts the goal posts, rips up the “level” playing field. The one constant we have in life is our spouse. Yes? No. The one constant we can CHOOSE to have in our life is our spouse. When we choose to avoid our spouse, maybe we are making a bigger choice – a choice we are not even aware of or really want. The choice to drive that person away.
My spouse and I are forced to be apart. It is horrible. Lonely. Alone. Heartbreaking. Is that want you want to risk? Really? A new razor blade costs little. A wet towel can be scooped up in passing. A relationship is such a valuable thing.
You don’t even need to say anything. Just wrap your arms around your loved one. Appreciate every moment you have with them, for every moment is precious. Moments lost can never be recovered. I know – we’ve lost eleven months. Maybe those months mean more because we are not so young but I think I’d feel the same if I were 20 years younger.
Before you decide to sleep on the couch tonight or slam the door to the spare room, close your eyes and imagine……..
Oh, don’t mind me – I’m just in a philosophical mood.
I did find a similar topic of on “Dating and Mating in America“, which you might also enjoy’